This week is a really busy week. After picking up Tristan from preschool today, I needed to get our weekly bread from the Coupland's bakery close to Tristan's preschool and I had forgotten a couple of items from the grocery shop, earlier in the week, so I thought we could nip into the supermarket at the same place.
The little problem was this was the supermarket Tristan and I were in, when both the June quakes hit. We have not been back to that supermarket since that day. I have been to this shopping centre a number of times since that day in June - just never to the supermarket. But I had decided that it was silly to make today even more busy. Today was to be the day to just "get over it".
As we drove into the carpark, I kept my own apprehension inside and casually told Tristan we were getting some bread and going to the supermarket to get a couple of things.
"No!" He was quite adamant. "I don't like this supermarket." He asked me to drive to our usual supermarket. I asked him why he didn't want to go to this one. He kept saying no and then he started crying and mentioned the quakes. The tears were running down his face and he was demanding we go to another supermarket.
I asked him if he was happy to go and get the bread from the bakery - we do this almost every week. He said yes he was quite happy about that. I told him, we would decide about the supermarket once we had the bread.
As we walked to the bakery, I thought about what I should do.
I was not keen to go to the supermarket either and it was heartbreaking seeing his face so sad and hearing the fear in his voice. It felt like the easy choice was to drive away. There are enough supermarkets to never have to visit this one again.
But I do want him to learn, that even if something feels scary we can still do it. I don't want him to be bound by anxiety.
After getting the bread he wanted to leave. But I picked him up and we chatted about it. I explained that I too was a little afraid. We talked about how even in both June quakes we were safe and nothing fell on us. We talked about how we only had to buy two things. We decided that if we could do this and face our fear and do it like normal shoppers, we could both have a wee reward.
I carried him for the first bit, but he walked into the supermarket by himself and he said. "We were here weren't we Mummy and everything shook about." I agreed. We found the things we needed, paid and left.
I hope I did the right thing and we have some soap and shampoo that are trophies of our continued return to a normal life.
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22 hours ago