Thursday, January 15, 2009

17. A revealing chat

Back in her room Cath was still mulling over her conversation with Jack. She still felt like she had big rocks in her stomach from the disappointment of the outing. The old woman's words had meant a lot and each of the people who had come had said to her they had enjoyed it and were glad they had come - was that enough after all her effort?
She pulled up Skype to see if Millie was online and she was, which instantly made Cath feel better - her oldest friend would understand. She gave her a call.
Millie's face popped up. 'Hey there have you done your thing?"
"Yeah," Cath nodded. "It didn't go well. Hardly anyone turned up. I feel a complete failure. Changing the world is not my thing."
"Aah well never mind - did you have fun?" Millie smiled.
Cath wondered whether to plunge ahead or not but decided she did need some guidance so she dove in the deep end.
"The thing is.." She paused. "It has really got me down on top of leaving my job, not getting the one at your work and some weird stuff has been happening here."
"Hey, don't get so upset about it eh. You will bounce back. You always do."
"Will I?" Cath really wanted to believe that but everything seemed so far away here. "It has just made me think about my whole life and I don't know what I am doing anymore."
Millie looked away, then she looked directly at Cath.
"Look, I have a confession to make. It was me that stopped you getting the job at my work and.."
Cath was stunned.
Millie continued. "Well I suggested the Carolinas for a reason. I know someone there and I kind of asked them to mess things up a bit for you."
"You did what? Why?" Cath could not believe what she was hearing.
"I'm sorry. It's just you have always been successful. I wanted you to see what it was like for other people, like, well me."
Cath could barely stand to look at the screen but couldn't pull herself away from the picture of Millie. At least she had the decency to look uncomfortable.
"You are suppose to be my friend. I worked damn hard for all my successes."
"And I didn't? And you are suppose to be my friend - which didn't seem to count for much with Nathan." Millie shot back.
"What?" Cath could hardly keep up with this conversation.
"Do you remember where you met him?"
"Of course I do, at a party at your house."
"Do you know why he was there?"
"Because I invited him. Because I liked him and was kind of hoping to take things further that night except he met you."
"But we have broken up - you could be with him now if you wanted."
"No. He still loves you apparently."
Cath was still trying to get her head around the earlier part of their chat and now this?
"It was a mutual break up. I was working long hours and we had grown apart - we agreed on that."
"You never really listen do you Cath. You only listen to what you want to hear. He agreed you had been working long hours and had grown apart. He wanted you to cut the hours, not him but that would be thinking of something other than your own success wouldn't it?"
Cath didn't know what to say. Deep inside a little voice was saying "Nathan still loves me?". Did he mean more to her than she thought?
"Did you mess up my whole trip here and the job at your work just to get back at me about Nathan?"
Millie was crying now. "No, I just thought you needed a wake up call. It went a bit out of control and I didn't think it would affect you so much, you are such a confident person."
"Millie we have been friends for years, I thought you knew I wasn't that confident inside. I can't believe what you have told me. I don't know what to think. " Her hand hovered over the red hang up button.
"Did you get your friend to chase me at the mall?"
"Umm yeah. It sounds pretty childish now you say it."
Cath whacked the hang up button. Now to add to her list of depressing things, she could add rubbish best friend. What made Millie do that? Did she make Millie do that? Had she been that selfish, that self absorbed?

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5 Favourite Sights Seen

  • 1996 Watching tropical lightning turn night to day, outside a little wooden church in a small village in Sabah.
  • 2004 Flying down the Rainbow Valley at 8000ft in a cessna on a clear blue day.
  • 2003 Seeing and hearing Michael Schmacher rolling out of the pit garage in his Ferrari in Hungary.
  • 2009 Chancing upon 100 or more dolphins just off the Kaikoura Coast swimming around, jumping out of the water, doing somersaults and generally having fun.
  • 2006 Finding a pool at the bottom of a waterfall in the bush at Kaikoura that was full of playing baby seals.