Magic in my Kitchen

The other day, a magic trick happened before my very eyes!
I was making a crumpet for lunch and despite others' opinions, I happen to like butter, vegemite and melted cheese. It is the best ever crumpet topping.
My crumpet was toasted and I had spread the butter, the vegemite and carefully laid out some cheese on the top.
I put it on a plate in the microwave to melt the cheese for thirty seconds.
Our microwave is not used very often so it sits atop the fridge. This makes it above my head and I have to reach up to put things into it more by feel, than sight. Our microwave is also very old and spins the food around fast.
The beeper dinged. I opened the door and felt for the plate. I lifted it down and as it reached my eye level, to my surprise, there was no crumpet on the plate.
The crumpet had vanished. I thought perhaps this time the speedy spinning had finally been too much and my crumpet had been flung out and stuck to the wall of the microwave by its melted cheese.
I stepped back so I could see the walls of the microwave. They were clear. My crumpet had taken part in a great disappearing trick.
Magic!

Tangled up in words

Language is suppose to help communication I thought but some words are too similar. I was enthusing on about place that sold free trade goods until I listened to myself. I didn't mean free trade, I meant fair trade. How come two such different concepts, with such different ramifications are so similar? Just as well I am not in some trade negotiation, I could agree to anything.
How come awful apparently used to mean full of awe and now means horrible? While awesome, which surely having only some awe is less than being totally full of awe, gets to mean awe-inspiring?
How come a marketer thought it was smart to have a shop sign that said half price, half shop? The two "half" words underneath one another so the poor shop assistants had to explain to every customer that only half the things in the shop were half price, not that it was a half price shop which your brain automatically registered it as.
I listen to my children trying to get their head around a language where you can have "yours" but not "mines" and you can have "listened" but not "heared".
And I still think alot should be an acceptable compound word.