I had a wee look back as I head into 2010.
2009 for me, seemed to be year of learning more about me - weirdly. You'd think after 30 plus years I would know all there was to know about me but apparently I have been ignoring some traits or recent events have just bought them to my attention.
So what have l learnt?
I have a pretty bad phobia of spending money and worry too much about it. It doesn't seem to matter if I have enough or even more than enough - I worry. This year I am going to try to worry about money less - this will be very hard. Though yesterday I managed to go from mild anxiety attack to relative peace so there is hope yet.
I learnt I am motivated by success and find it hard when I can't tangibly achieve that.
I've learnt life doesn't instantly change - that is only in the summarised magazine article or television interview. Everything takes time.
I've learnt people are what I enjoy. I thought I loved travelling and want to do more but looking back on the travel I have been fortunate to do, it is the people that stick out in my mind. The sixty year old German who was forced so close to retirement to take a move to China by the company he worked for. He was loving it, he was thoroughly enjoying seeing something completely new to him every day he walked to work. His attitude was fantastic. The lady in Sri Lanka who was so thankful I came to help train them when she said in her heart she thought I wouldn't since the airport had been bombed a week before. I know what it is like to ask for help and then get turned down from afar.
This year I haven't left the country but we have had some really neat people to stay through SERVAS. Even though sometimes we've been busy and I need to reorganise the house when they come, each time it has been worth it and my world has increased. It is also surprising what people will tell you as the person behind the counter. We opened our world cooking ingredient retail shop - Summerfields Foods - last year and I have met some very interesting people I would never have met otherwise. Their lives have taken a course they might not have chosen but it sure is interesting listening to their stories. Now we are busier that doesn't happen quite the same but it is great to be growing the business and the busyness.
I've also learnt;
a tidy house to live in is important to me.
that kids can adapt and thoroughly enjoy things you were worried might adversely affect them.
I can hear someone say the stress of a new business and trying to be superperson, took it's toll with a near breakdown and not see that same thing happening in my own approach.
that great friends are there when you need them.
that little kids really do grow very quickly.
that there are an every increasing number of "morals" related to the "right" way to bring up children and that it is okay for me to pick the things important to me for our kids and that doesn't make me better or worse a parent for the things I am not worried about.
Life is not always easy but when it is not you learn a great deal more than when everything is lined up nicely.
Grievance and possibility
15 hours ago