2 months on from the earthquake

Well it really has been ages since the earthquake happened here in Christchurch.
Finally in the last few weeks, three year old Tristan has stopped saying he is too scared to go to bed because of the aftershocks.
Are we still getting them? Yes we are. Now, though we get around 1-2 over four magnitude quakes a week. If we haven't felt a decent one in a week, we know it will happen soon.
How do they make me feel?
We went away for a night to Geraldine and I felt so relaxed. I am not consciously thinking about aftershocks in Christchurch but it must be there in the back of my mind - constantly wondering. That little bit of tension never letting go.
We came back to Christchurch and arrived home about 3:30pm. At 7:30pm there was a 4.7 aftershock. The noise was back, the shaking, the rolling and then it stopped. My stomach had sunk again into a nervous waiting. Will it stop, is it another larger one? I was fine after the big one but a large shallow 5.0 aftershock near our house a month afterwards has ruined it. I thought I would never fear another earthquake again but now that is not true.
Now when a decent aftershock hits, inside, I am thinking forward what will happen next? Will it stop? Will it not? It is different for out towners to experience a couple while they are here, that is kind of cool and then they can go away but we stay and they keep coming every week.
I want to relax and not worry about them but now I find that really hard because I start thinking into the future about what the shake will do next.
There is a lot of ongoing issues from this quake, mostly under the surface because we have to say we are all alright. Everything is go in Christchurch! But really everything is waiting in Christchurch, waiting for it to stop so repairs can begin. We have been assessed and expecting a small payout to fix our minor damage. But so far that minor damage is just getting a little bit worse with each large aftershock. The cracks grow wider and more appear.
How to end this? Well like our lives currently, there is no end to living with the intermittent shaking, we just keep on planning and going about our lives.