What I can do

This post is not about the new zoning of land in Christchurch. We are green, as expected, but this is Christchurch. Everyone has friends or family in the red residential zone. It is so emotional, so complicated - with the options and what insurance companies are prepared to do - and I haven't yet got a proper perspective on it.

So here is my list of what I can do.

I know it is irrational and it is in no way indicative of anyone else but me in Christchurch. With the February and now the June big aftershocks, while our experiences are all similar they are also all different, depending on where you were. I have friends with other lists that to me seem as irrational as the following will to you. Of course many others here have no such hang ups!

Things I can do:

1. I can go and do a grocery shop at the supermarket with the kids. Admittedly the first time I went back to a supermarket after getting caught in one TWICE, on June 13th, I went alone and only for a couple of essential items. I almost cried when I entered the first aisle but now I can do a proper shop as I used to (though maybe still a bit faster).

2. I can go to a mall to go to a particular shop, that I can't find outside of a mall, to get a particular item.

3. I can park on the roof of the mall carpark.

4. I can enjoy going to a cafe for a coffee or a meal.

5. I went to the Ballantynes sale at the CBS Arena when the crowds were gone and I could get in, choose items and out in fifteen minutes.

6. I can park beside a concrete or brick wall - if that is the only option left.

7. I like shopping in places on the edge of the city cordon. Parking is currently quite easy!

8. I made a list of all our crockery and glassware in case a large aftershock finally shook that cupboard open. (I have already had to change it as we broke two glasses in the weekend - probably both times due to tiredness from aftershock interrupted sleep.

Things I am currently avoiding:

1. Going to malls to wander around and browse.

2. Eating at a cafe or food court inside a mall or building that I can't easily get to the entrance.

3. Large groups of people where I don't have enough personal space to get under something. (The photo of the first day of Ballantynes sale with all the crowds, amazed me.)

4. Parking on any floor but the roof at the mall.

5. Going back to the supermarket I was caught in on June 13.

6. Driving on the Port Hills.

Things that make me slightly nervous:

1. Ceiling tiles in commercial buildings. The other day I was visiting a place that was now missing some tiles following the sharp shock of June 21. I knew the likelihood of any falling on me right then was unlikely, but I found another part of my mind had wandered off and worked out I could fit at least my head under the overhang of the desk.

2. Glass bottles and wine close to the edges of shelves. At friend's place I saw a glass olive oil bottle in the pantry at the front, close to the edge. (really it isn't you - it is me! I think that feeling was from February, and all the bottles crashing and smashing around me).

3. Getting stuck in a line of cars on the off ramp of the carpark, especially under the concrete roof.

In the future, I will look back at this list and be surprised. That is another thing this whole experience has taught me, humans are so adaptable.